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There’s a lot we get wrong about intrusive thoughts. Although they’re sometimes mistaken as unusual ideas or embarrassing opinions, intrusive thoughts are more than unconventional — they’re completely unwanted. Rather than normal anxiety about school, finances, or relationships, these thoughts are disturbing, unsettling, and can cause significant distress (the idea that you may lose a child or run your car off the road, for instance). If you deal with intrusive thoughts occasionally or frequently, it’s important to know that you’re not alone. “Perhaps the most significant step of coping with intrusive thoughts is knowing that everyone has them, and it’s completely normal,” says Sanam Hafeez, PsyD. “It’s how you manage and get past them that can determine your attachment to them.”
Figuring out how to deal with intrusive thoughts takes time and practice. To make it easier, we asked therapists to share their tips for dealing with intrusive thoughts. As a note, if your intrusive thoughts interfere with your daily life, it’s best to enlist the help of a therapist or another healthcare professional. For supplemental use, read on to find therapist-approved tips and techniques that can help you learn how to cope with intrusive thoughts on your own.
Experts Featured in This Article:
Sanam Hafeez, PsyD, is a licensed psychologist and founder of Comprehend the Mind.
Gayani DeSilva, MD, is a child and adolescent psychiatrist.
Diane Strachowski, Ed.D, is a licensed psychologist, clinician, and researcher.
Patti Ashley, PhD, LPC, is a psychotherapist with experience in special education, child development, and psychology.
Rebecca B. Skolnick, PhD, is a licensed clinical psychologist and co-founder of MindWell NYC.
How to Deal With Intrusive Thoughts
When intrusive thoughts strike, there are some strategies that can help mitigate the discomfort they cause. Here are a few of the most effective techniques, as recommended by experts:
Do Something Creative
Gayani DeSilva, MD, says that doing something creative — like drawing, painting, or coloring — helps the brain use different pathways. “The brain is extremely powerful, but lazy. It tends to use the same pathways that generate the same thoughts over and over again,” Dr. DeSilva says. “The more time we spend worrying about something, the more often we’ll worry about the same thing.” However, we can train our brain to think in different ways. By giving the brain a new task, we can draw the focus away from intrusive thoughts and form new connections.
Practice Breathwork
Diane Strachowski, Ed.D, tells PS that relaxing the body will indirectly help calm the mind. When you’re anxious or stressed, your natural response is to hold your breath — this is called “sympathetic arousal,” otherwise known as the fight-or-flight response, Dr. Strachowski explains. “The solution is to engage the parasympathetic system, or the relaxation response, by doing breathwork,” Dr. Strachowski says. “The technique involves filling the lower belly — also called the diaphragm — with air, then releasing the breath with exaggerated force.” When you do this, make a whooshing sound on the exhale. Dr. Strachowski recommends repeating this cycle for 10 minutes for optimal results. “With more oxygen and a relaxed body, the brain gets the message, ‘Nope, there is nothing to worry about here,'” she explains. “People who have done healing breathwork are less likely to experience intrusive thoughts.”
Try Meditating
According to Dr. Strachowski, mindfulness or transcendental meditation can be extremely helpful in managing intrusive thoughts. “The goal of meditation is less to clear the mind [and] more to become mindful of one’s thoughts,” she says. When she’s working on mindfulness meditation with her clients, Dr. Strachowski suggests that they project their thoughts onto a big movie screen moving from left to right. “The objective is to observe rather than to interact with what they see,” she explains. Regardless of which style of meditation you choose, stick with it. Like yoga, meditation is a practice, so routine and consistency are important.
Ground Yourself
“When your thoughts are repeating over and over without any respite from the chatter, you are most likely not conscious of your physical body,” says Patti Ashley, PhD, LPC. “In order to stop the thoughts, you must first get grounded in your body.” Here are some simple grounding techniques to try:
- Imagine your feet cemented solidly into the ground.
- Imagine sitting in a chair that’s nailed all the way down into the earth.
- Do a body scan to identify where you might be tight or tense.
- Simply touch your cheeks and/or other body parts.
Reframe Your Thoughts
Rebecca B. Skolnick, PhD, says that everyone has thoughts going through our minds each day, some of which are more accurate or helpful than others. If you’re having intrusive, disturbing thoughts about negative things happening, “turn those thoughts into predictions and then evaluate the likelihood based on evidence,” she suggests. “Based on that information, you can determine how likely it is that your worry is going to come true.” This can help you get a more realistic picture of what’s likely to occur. “These tools are helpful in bringing in more rational and well-rounded perspectives, since anxiety tends to make us focus on the negative, or catastrophize situations,” Dr. Skolnick says.
— Additional reporting by Chandler Plante
Caitlin Flynn is a PS contributor whose work has been featured in Rolling Stone, Teen Vogue, InStyle, and Glamour.
Chandler Plante is an assistant editor for PS Health & Fitness. Previously, she worked as an editorial assistant for People magazine and contributed to Ladygunn, Millie, and Bustle Digital Group. In her free time, she overshares on the internet, creating content about chronic illness, beauty, and disability.