Kelly Clarkson is reflecting on her mental health amid her 2020 split from Brandon Blackstock. The singer and talk show host recently appearend on the June 28 episode of “Las Culturistas With Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang,” in which she opened up about taking antidepressants while dealing with her divorce, which was finalized in 2022 after she initially filed in June 2020.
Though the mom of two was previously “against any kind of foreign medication” because of exposure during her childhood, she eventually realized she needed further support and went on Lexapro for about two months. In retrospect, she described getting on antidepressants as “the greatest decision ever.” “I wouldn’t have made it,” she said.
“I just can’t smile anymore for America right now.”
“I looked at my therapist and I just couldn’t stop sobbing,” Clarkson recalled to Yang and Rogers. “I was like, ‘I actually had to cancel something the other day because I couldn’t stop crying. I cannot do this.” She continued, “My thing was, I just can’t smile anymore for America right now. I’m not happy and I need help.”
Clarkson’s therapist eventually encouraged her to accept the help. She remembered her therapist saying, “You’re doing a lot and having to balance a lot, and trying to put your best foot forward in front of your kids.” Clarkson explained, “It was a really good lesson in, ‘You need to put your ego aside and handle this. Someone’s trying to help you, listen.
Clarkson also admitted she was previously opposed to taking any type of medication. “I was like, ‘No, there’s got to be a better way of talking to someone and figuring this out. I don’t want to numb myself,” she said. However, she ultimately “put pride” and childhood issues aside to address her depression, though she was adamant about short-term use. “I was like, look, I don’t want to be on it forever. I don’t want to be that person, not that there’s anything wrong with that. I just had issues with [antidepressants] because of my own issues from childhood.”
By the time she tapered off her medication, she said she was happy with her decision. “It was like, OK, I handled what I couldn’t handle then and now I have time and space. I took the whole summer off.”
Clarkson further opened up about handling her divorce ahead of the release of her new album, “Chemistry,” in a June 21 interview on “The Zane Lowe Show.” “I don’t know how people get through anything like that because I’m not going to say I did it gracefully. Behind closed doors by myself, it was not,” she admitted. “I did not handle it well.”